New (Moon) Catharsis?

The energy has been building.

Good potent, revealing, intensifying, and cathartic New Moon in Taurus to you! What are you feeling as you read this? How has your last week played out in the story of your life? Do you recall any significant or subtle interactions pointing toward a doorway of change? As you receive these words, are you feeling a bit squirmish in your skin? Tight, uncomfortable, in dis-ease? Perhaps you are feeling just “fine”, and if so, what does that really mean?

Taurus, as ruler of the 2nd house, is such a visceral and material realm. When the moon traverses this land, those of us with a Taurus moon, sun, or ascendant may feel even more into the psychosomatic reality of the moment. The body knows when your life is out of balance, or when change is arising, or when there is something left unsaid that begs to be explored. If you missed last week’s journal, please review here, as today is a New Moon of karmic proportions. The imprint of the Pluto/Mars third and final (for now) opposition is squaring this moon and ushering us into a New Moon cycle that is potentially unraveling the internal conflicts coming to a head this past week and this weekend.

New Moon Terrain

I’m feeling tension in my body moving into specific terrain, calling my attention to work out knots that emerge from buried emotions, stresses, and challenges I am navigating in my life. It has been one month since I returned home from a vision quest that has altered my perspective in the most profound and subtle ways. I am renewing in a gestation process, digesting what I have seen, lived, and learned from that experience. And I welcome it all, I can’t thank God enough for such a brilliant stretch of time to be able to contemplate the depth of my life and somehow manage sufficient energy to work through some of the darkest realms of my psyche to date. I will never take for granted the gift of clarity, lightness, and transmuted comprehension I received, even when I move through new layers of density in the present moment. The quest itself was easier than I imagined and also much more arduous than I could have ever fathomed. How can both be true? They can, trust me.

The first few weeks of integration were so beautiful. It was strange to feel hard surfaces and navigate around the buzzing sounds, or sit in a chair. Yet my heart felt overflowing with gratitude and continues to rest there. Physically, it has taken a while for my body to be able to digest food again after fasting for nearly 17 days, with several of those without much water. The body is incredible in its ability to adapt and provide what is needed as if it can just call forth the nourishment and hydration from within…and I was also very thirsty, scared at times, and watched myself turn inside out. So it was all things, and I met a new edge, one I hadn’t discovered before.

In Between

However, this past week has been more of a disintegration. In contrast to when I felt myself rebuilding my muscle mass and acclimating to life outside of the wilderness for those first few weeks, now I am somewhere else entirely. Zero? Not really. In-between? Absolutely. But in between what exactly? Where I’ve been and where I’m going? Yes. I am in some jelly-like substance in my psyche and relaxing into it. I know better to fight it, fear it, or try to change it. I find solace in thinking of the liquefaction inside a cocoon, and perhaps whatever happened out there on the mountain is just finding a way to express here as I write this from Sausalito, CA.

Anyone else out there feeling in-between? I can’t help but call out the very big collective/individual cycles that each of us is living in these times, as the astrology is pulling so much of our attention to the rebirth degree of 0 Aries. For the next year, we’ll be hovering here in particular and unique realms of our psyche, depending on your time of birth. No one escapes this transition, although only those who are aware of it will work with it consciously. From my perspective, nothing is “happening to you”; instead, these transits “happen within you”. Some people like to say “happening for you”, but it feels a bit Pollyanna in tumultuous times to force optimism. However, if you feel optimistic, by all means, go with it. I tend toward enthusiasm myself and am excited by what is occurring. And yet, I still have moments where I feel so encased in goo that it keeps me even more inward and observant, unable to express as freely or playfully as I may want to. All of it is ok by me, and I hope you permit yourself to feel it all, as it is for you, and how it shows up for you in the now, too.

A Time of Surrender

The catharsis is real. Energy has been building, and we’ve crossed into this New Moon cycle with a lot of homework to unpack around your tensions, how we carry them, and where they come from. What is inside the tension of your shoulders, hips, lower back, or maybe just in your mind? As you set your intentions for the coming weeks, add a willingness to surrender to wherever you are struggling with internal conflict. Consider offering your struggle to your creator or that which you lean on in times of difficulty. Is it your higher self? God? Great Spirit? The Universe? Now is a good time to go further beyond any label or intellectual description and experience who is truly there in the eternal realm of your pure heart.

All my best to you, and please receive the piece of my heart that lives inside these words.

Thank you for visiting my inner world. If you want to learn more about my work in the outer world, enjoy cielawynter.com and listen to Season 1 of my podcast here.

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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.